Walking Without Avoidance and Assumption
I truly believe that two of the greatest prisons people can experience in life are avoidance and assumption. How often do we find ourselves moving along in life only to find a halt or pause hindering us from something we know we are supposed to be moving forward towards? Largely, I think that many people fall into the traps of avoidance and assumption unwittingly and never try to break free from these cages, ultimately, because they never knew they were in them.
The reality of all of this is that there is a promise, a reality, and a truth available that where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom (2 Cor. 3:17), and that the love of Jesus leaves no chain unbroken, leaves no grave stone unrolled, and leaves none of us behind. However, many of us choose the limitations of avoidance and assumption even in the midst of the present and eternal truth of freedom and love. My goal is to empower you to step away from those prisons and into a true life of liberty, wholeness, and grace for yourself and those around you.
As Christians it baffles me that so many people say “Yes!” to the love of God one time in prayer, but then forget that a relationship is a daily process of being open, authentic, and connecting with Jesus. This is the first point, we need to stop avoiding God and assuming stuff about God. Now hear me out, there are things that we believe about God that are truth and established through His Word, the history of the Church, the theology and philosophy of many brilliant, prayerful, and thoughtful people, and the experiences of many today. And, at the same time, there are many who assume things about God’s character that are not true, believing that God doesn’t have time for them, that God is angry with them, that God is more concerned for the person next to us, that God is their parental issues from their family of origin, or that God is simply not who He says He is.
In believing these lies, many live based off of their assumptions on God and avoid God altogether out of their own way to cope with broken trust and love in their histories. But what if I were to tell you that you are not alone in your experiences with this? What if I were to tell you that many others have thought these things, have assumed many mistruths about God, and have avoided the Lord altogether, and yet they still have come into a place of encountering the truth of who God was, is, and will always be? What if I were to tell you that the first step in overcoming avoidance and assumption is openness to the love that God is and that God has for?
Your first step toward a life of true liberty is coming into a daily relationship of having the hard conversations with God, walking with Him through the difficult places, and not assuming the worst, but expecting the best, because that is His character and nature. The more you assume He doesn’t have time for you (lie), the more you will avoid Him. The more you recognize that God is outside of time (truth), the more you will pursue Him at any time. Stop avoiding God based off your assumptions and start pursuing Jesus founded on the eternal and limitless resource of His faithful character and calling for all people to be in true, dynamic, and beautiful relationship with Him.
Secondly, because Christians, and people in general, avoid God or assume things about God, they also avoid themselves and others, assuming the worst about thoughts, conversations, activities, workplaces, relationships, and future tense opportunities.
The way we see or talk to ourselves negatively reveals this prison very well. Think about it: if we are avoiding our own hearts and assuming the worst, the failed assignment at work or school turns into, “Well, I guess that’s it for that career.” Or maybe the botched date night with somebody turns into, “Well, I guess I’m not that pretty,” or “I’ll never date again,” or “Maybe I’m not marriage material.” The reality is that our hearts are crying out to us, asking for us to look inward and to recognize that we are hurting and in need of a healing touch.
The less we avoid our own emotions and actually embrace the outcry of our hearts, the more we will be able to bring those before the God who is Healer. In avoiding ourselves, we assume the worst of ourselves, of God, and of others, but when we come to confront ourselves with Perfect Love, we are able to bring forth the atmosphere of freedom through authentic openness that embraces, let’s go, and receives truth and hope.
Or maybe this is most revealed in the way we avoid or assume about others. Maybe we haven’t had a conversation because we are hiding in our own pain, stuffing down emotions, and thinking that God won’t breakthrough and that the other person would never be open to having a conversation. Maybe we are assuming that if we speak up in a relationship the other person will leave when we show them our deepest scars. Maybe we are avoiding stuff altogether because we don’t have a true or complete view of God, ourselves, or others.
Let me make this abundantly clear. God never avoided the people of the world. Jesus came in flesh to offer His life for us to have true and eternal life. The Lord never allowed assumption to stop what His mission was on the earth. Jesus didn’t look at the people around Him and say to Himself, “I better not do this because they won’t believe, or because they will reject me, or because that person said something I didn’t agree with, or that person didn’t vote for the person I did…” Jesus did not avoid or assume the worst, and neither should we.
And let me make another note on this. Maybe you’re reading and thinking, “Great. Cam pulled the Jesus card and I can never be fully like Him.” As Christ followers we are equipped with grace that covers our mistakes, empowers us to great and beautiful things in God’s love, and we are filled with the very presence of authority, truth, and resurrection in the Holy Spirit. You are able to do all things through Christ who strengthens you, including speaking with those you have been avoiding, expecting the best of God’s character and your character to shine through, and trusting that in all things, if you approach the situation with love, you will see true victory, because after all, love always wins.
When we reach out to those around us, we are not trying to win an argument or outwit them with why we are right and they are wrong. In fact, that’s probably why some people avoid each other in the first place. Rather, when we reach out to those around us, our goal is reconciliation rooted in forgiveness, love, and grace for ourselves and our neighbor. Nobody is perfect and we can’t assume that about others or ourselves. But we can expect that when we approach another in love, whether it be confrontation, need for forgiveness, or simply having a hard conversation, that if have grace for and give love to ourselves and the person in front of us, the power of avoidance and assumption cannot win.
The steps towards living without assumption and avoidance are truly based on you making the leap in courage, faith, and trust that God has called us to relationship not evasion, that the Lord has called us to great expectation of His love not restraint of His love, and that ultimately, Jesus sees us a whole lot better than we see ourselves and those around us. The more we can come to Love with our broken hearts and hand over the lies, dodging thoughts, and fears we have, the more we will be able to trust God, ourselves, and others. The more we will see that fear cannot hold us back from what the Lord has called us to because assumption will never outweigh the past, present, and future experiences of the Father who comes through every time.
Beloved, our God is faithful to break through in our avoidance and assumption. Come to God. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you forward. Believe what the Lord believes about you. You’re more capable than you think and you can expect that when Love is your center to every conversation, relationship, dream, and activity, that you will find the right timing, best foundation, and most hope for a gracious and wonderful life in freedom.
Below are some action steps for you to apply in your relationships with God, others, and yourself. This is from Brene Brown's book Gifts of Imperfection. Blessings to you as you walk without avoidance and assumption, and as you begin to journey with connection and expectation. Amen.
