Connection Over Performance
According to StrengthsFinder, I'm a maximizer. This means I like to get stuff done and get it done with excellence. The good thing is I do things well, the bad thing is that if you don't want to do it well, I will do it without you.
According to the Enneagram, I'm a type 3. That means I'm an achiever. I thrive in accomplishing tasks and loving finishing to-do lists. The good news is that I'm focused on the task at hand, the bad news is that in stress I don't get anything done unless it's focused on me.
If you're catching on, my personality types tend toward performance. I grew up in a performance-focused culture. From sports to school to social settings there was always a competition and I was constantly comparing myself with others and striving to be the best.
Here it comes again. The good from these experiences has been tremendous growth in my work ethic, attention to detail, and responsibility. The bad from these events has been that I favor performance more than people.
The other night I was at a worship rehearsal for our church services. I was on acoustic guitar and leading a few songs. Going into the practice, I was feeling good about the set, the team, and our upcoming time in worship. However, I had a very long day in many meetings and my voice was tired and dry. Although I was excited for worshipping with my church family, I was also not looking forward to my lack of performing/singing well.
In one of the songs, I felt myself straining to hit one of the notes and caught myself in this cycle of valuing performance over everything else. I felt myself slipping into the lies of inadequacy, insecurity, and disconnection. All I wanted to do was run away and numb out for the night.
However, we ran through the song one more time, and rather than focusing incessantly on my striving, I concentrated on connection with Jesus. And guess what, when my aim was the Lord, my voice matched my pursuit.
More often than not, I hear people struggle with this same battle. They think they HAVE to DO something in order to BE closer to God. They think that a certain task, responsibility, or work is about their accomplishment. Or, if they don't get specific results the whole event wasn't "successful".
But this focus on our performance as the basis for success and identity is simply not true. If all we ever do is strive our way to receive fulfillment, we will never be fulfilled and we will also never stop working.
The simple fact is that the Good News of Jesus Christ is that His activity, His performance, and His finished work has secured eternal connection with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. His goal was not to have us perform our way into heaven, but rather He performed heaven into us. His death was not for us to try to earn love, but to simply receive love and live from His action. I am connected because Jesus performed, not the other way around.
However, for most of the aspects of our lives, we are constantly striving for better performance and placing more value on accomplishing tasks than the people around us. If you're anything like me, the feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and anxiety might arise when this is our posture in life. The best news is that Jesus offers us solutions to these feelings and here's what I have found to be helpful for me.
Relationship Trumps Tasks
Our goal in life is not to have the most money, the nicest house, the most expensive car, or the most Instagram followers. Our goal in life is loving relationship with God, others, and ourselves. When we value task over people, we will miss this opportunity for connection every time. When we value people over tasks, we might find that the task at hand is accomplished with more creativity, energy, joy, and unity. We might just find that when our goal is to stay connected, that what we want to accomplish happens much more fluid and with greater ease.
There's a story about a U.S. Olympic diver named Greg Louganis who was interviewed and asked what was going through his mind before his pressure-filled, final dive for gold. His response was simple, "I was scared going into the last dive. But I stood there and told myself that no matter what I do here, my mother will still love me. That thought gives you a lot of strength." He nailed the dive, won gold, and is still recognized as one of the greatest divers to ever compete.
But did you see it? His focus was on relationship, and it was that loving connection that strengthened him for the performance at hand. What if our thought entering into a task wasn't, "How am I going to get this done?" but rather, "The Lord will love me no matter how I do." We might find that as our values will shift toward connection the task at hand will still be accomplished with a better relational partnership with God, others, and ourselves.
Connection
Let's press into this idea of connection just a little bit more. An electric power tool gains its supply from a connection to a power supply. When it's plugged in, it functions. When it's unplugged, it doesn't operate to its full potential. I can still get a screw out of a wall with a power drill that's missing its battery, but that would be awful.
When we are plugged into our source, we are empowered. When we are disconnected, we can still function, but, wow, is it like swimming upstream.
Again, our goal is not to get stuff done but to pursue connection and to simply be with. I'm not trying to stay plugged into my source to be the best Christian or earn more salvation trophies. I'm placing my priority for connection with Jesus above everything else because when I'm connected with Him, I'm fully alive and the most good is produced from my life.
In John 15, Jesus calls His disciples to abide in Him and as they are with Him good fruit would be produced from their lives that glorifies the Father. Most people would say that we are created to glorify God and I would agree. However, I would say that the best way we glorify God is by being loved by Him and loving Him, others, and ourselves in return and out of the overflow of His love. In other words, the way we glorify God is connection.
Jesus makes this very clear in the verses of John 15 as He places a higher value on abiding with Him than producing fruit. In verses 1 through 8, He calls His followers to abide in Him/remain with Him 8 times compared to 6 mentions of producing fruit. If Jesus wanted your value and identity to be based on production rather than connection, it'd be the other way around.
Our goal is to be with God, not to simply do for God. He's already done it for us so that we can be with Him. That's the Good News. Now our doing is from what's already been done so that our focus can be on staying in love with Jesus and connecting with others and ourselves in that love. After all, we're human beings, not human doings. Prioritize connection.
Truth Sets Free
If you're like me, the feelings that creep in when I focus on performance often become identifying vocabulary that cycle in my mind. Inadequate, not enough, incapable, not qualified, disconnected, etc. However, these feelings are not my identity.
I'm not saying that my work is enough to earn salvation, but I am saying that the cross of Jesus says I'm more than enough. He reveals my worth by purchasing me through His atoning sacrifice. If He's the priceless Son of God, and He's the price for my life, that makes me priceless. He reveals I'm more than enough by taking the filthy rags of my sin and clothing me in His righteousness. He manifests the true identity of His followers as beloved, capable, qualified, and enough in HIM.
As I've come to experience these truths, I'm also come to regularly speak these out over myself when I feel a pattern of negative self-talk and pain come my way. I've recognized that when I speak it out loud, I claim authority and power over it. What is hidden is hidden until it's revealed. When we proclaim the truth, it sets us free and gives us back the power we so quickly gave to those lies.
Each day I declare that I am loved, connected, celebrated, forgiven, free, and creatively capable. What are your truths? What does the Lord think about you? How does Jesus see you? What does Holy Spirit want to say to you? Ask Him. It's really good news.
Beloved, we live in a world that will always say that your performance dictates your worth, your identity, and your success. The Good News of Christ Jesus is that His performance reveals our worth, our identity, and our success. Our goal is living in relationship, connection, and the truth of God that Jesus offers to us through His work.
It's not our performance that earns us love or salvation. It's not based on our striving or achieving. Our effort is just an overflow from the connection we have with the One who declared "It is Finished." This doesn't mean I won't give effort to what's in front of me, it simply means that I can't earn what's already been given.
May our focus, our drive, and our lives be rooted in the beautiful, relational, eternal connection of our Lord as we are with Him in all things. We might just find that as we pursue connection and relationship over accomplishment that what we do will be with God, which is way better than what we can do for God. Stay connected, my friends. Amen.
