Staying United in Divided Times
I remember growing up and hearing coaches, teachers, and mentors consistently say, "If we stick together, we can accomplish anything." And I had my fair share of winning seasons and losing seasons with teams I played on. I can honestly tell you that the winning seasons were not about one player doing well, but a united front on the field, while the losing seasons were focused on one player or had divided coaching strategies.
I bring this up because I hate the feeling of losing. From Monopoly, which I never win, to team sports I can't stand putting in the effort to win something and coming up short. But at the end of the day, I can get over those losses because they don't matter.
Right now, there's a different feeling of losing that I'm struggling with because it greatly matters. This losing feeling is about the division and poor witness of the Church to a world desperately in need of Jesus. I'm grappling with the lack of centrality on the Lord and our call to be united in our loving of God and people, and making disciples.
And this is nothing new. Paul wrote a majority of his letters to the New Testament churches because they were divided. We've seen social, political, racial, and economic splits for centuries. And right now we are continuing to see a separation of people that not only feels like war but feels like a major loss of the witness of Christ we are called to exude.
Let me put it this way, how can we be witnesses of the Triune God of Love who is perfect unity as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit if we, as the church, cannot hold on to the spirit of unity to which we were called? How can we point people to the Gospel message that unites and redeems all people into the family of God, when the family of God is throwing temper-tantrums over political preferences and social media feeds? How can we reveal the true Jesus to the world when our hearts are still divided by sin, pain, comfort, and convenience?
I write all of this to say, we must open our hearts to the unifying work of the Lord, and we must make every effort to keep this spirit of unity. We must stay united in divided times.
In Ezekiel 11:19, there is a promise of restoration and unity from the Lord to an exiled people. The Lord says through Ezekiel, "I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh." This is His promise and Jesus has made a way for this redemption to take place in our lives and world.
Paul also writes about this unity in-depth in Ephesians as he is calling Hebrews and Gentiles (non-Hebrews) to the only eternal option for oneness in Christ Jesus. He tells them that Jesus has gone beyond the dividing wall of hostility and, by His blood, brought all people near (Eph. 2:11-22).
He goes on to instruct this early church with words that still resound to our divided and split hearts today in chapter 4. He writes, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all (Eph. 4:1-6)."
I read this recently and was stirred by a certain phrase: make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit. As I read it, I was convicted and felt the Lord's nudge in my own heart and life towards making every effort to stay united with friendships, organizations, and others. I recognize I've been a terrible friend to many. I see places in which I thought unity would just happen, rather than making every effort for it. I know that I've left groups and organizations too soon. I acknowledge I have not spoken well about or to others because of pain and division in my own heart. And I am repentant and ready for the Lord to unite my divided heart and bring unity through me as I step into the things to which He's called me.
It is from this unifying work I feel Holy Spirit doing in my heart, that I want to present seven ways for us to stay united in divided times.
1. Choose Righteousness Over Being Right
More often than not, I see people valuing their rightness in a situation above maintaining "right relationship" (righteousness) with them. I constantly see social media arguments over who's right or wrong. I see people post things to break relationship rather than to mend or invite others into relationship.
And if there's one thing I've learned from Jesus, He chose righteousness and invited people into right relationship. There were challenges, there was public discourse, and there definitely moments of "Did He really just say that?" But, more than anything, there was the Incarnation. Jesus came in flesh. There was the patience of being human, teaching, healing, being with people, and always responding with an invitation for further conversation and transformation. And there was the cross and resurrection as proof that He was interested in bringing all into right relationship.
He's the only One who is right in all things. We are simply those who need His righteousness to redeem, restore, and maintain relationships in our lives. Choose the model of invitation and place more value on relationship with others rather than being right in everything.
2. Ask Story Instead of Being Accusatory
This one hits home for me because of how many conversations I've had with people about phrases or statements I've made without being asked for clarity or the story. We are in a season of people seeing a phrase, hashtag, or news article title that triggers a reaction rather than a response asking for clarity and conversation. Again, if we are pursuing rightness more than right relationship, we are missing the point already.
But more so on this point, we need to choose conversation that assumes the best of another by asking for their story. How can we make sound discernment if we haven't heard or read everything? How can we actually be in relationship with others if we don't know them?
Not everyone who says black lives matter is on the left politically. Not everyone who pro-life is pro-gun. Not everybody who says blue lives matter is white. Our generalizations and our judging of books by their covers is another form of accusation that leads to division rather than unity. We don't know fully because we don't ask or listen fully. We must ask, hear, honor, respond in love, and choose to maintain relationship and unity. We must remember that we are talking with people, not political parties. And these people matter and have stories.
3. Not Everything in Your Head Needs to Be Said
I could write a lot on this, but not everything in my head needs to be said. I can't tell you how many times I've bitten my tongue in both personal and internet conversations. Because of the years of studying and reading I've done on theological concepts and Biblical principles, I could have a field day with many people posting things that I disagree with or find offensive, alarming, incorrect, etc. But I choose to remember the words of one of my spiritual fathers, "Not everything in your head needs to be said."
In this season, we must remember that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We should listen twice as much as we talk. We also have two hands and two feet for a reason. We should serve way more than we speak as well. I'll get to both these in the next few points, but let's be a people who choose to live in the fullness of what's been given to us. We are reminded in 2 Tim 1:7, "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline." Let's control our emotions, our words, and our responses.
We can tear down or build up with our statements, and I wonder if we're getting some conviction from the Lord in this season reminding us from James 3:9-12, "9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
Do you say those things to others and kiss your mother with that mouth? Do you curse your neighbor and praise the Lord with that tongue? Not everything in our head needs to be said.
4. Pray More Than You Say
Again, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Maybe our response in this season should be to seek the Lord before saying anything. Maybe our initial writing should be in a journal with Jesus rather than on social media. Maybe our prayer life should be much greater than our presence and platform on the web. Maybe our knowledge of the Word should be more extensive than our understanding of political parties, policies, and candidates.
I'm not saying we shouldn't be involved in these things, I'm saying that our time with the Lord is our top priority, that the Gospel informs our justice movements, and that our prayer closets empower our corporate lifestyles.
I'd rather imitate Jesus, who withdrew often to pray (Lk. 5:16) in the midst of the crowds than many I see today who are rushing towards decisions or creating platforms for themselves rather than the Lord. Jesus tells us, "when you pray." He did not say "if," or "when you get around to it." Pray more than you say, beloved. I think we will find the Lord's heart for unity in these postures of prayer rather than our passion for being right.
5. Walk Your Talk Before You Talk
If we aren't praying before saying stuff, we need to return the last point. But if our prayer is not leading to action before we speak, we must come back to the basics of what Christ called us to. I believe we are seeing more divide in our churches and world because we are putting forth ideas and reactions that are not rooted in Gospel truth or action.
Jesus never taught anything He hadn't done, was doing, or was going to do. That's our model. We must walk our talk. We must recognize we can't lead others to places we haven't been. We can't tell people we understand the complexity of their situation if we haven't walked in their shoes. We can't just simply throw around empty words. We must be a people who promote a lifestyle of not just hearing the Word but doing it (James 1:22-25).
Another crucial piece to this is that we must ask ourselves after we have prayed, pursued God's presence, sought the Lord in His Word, and are ready to act: will this effort be to maintain the spirit of unity or destroy it? This doesn't mean we can't disagree on something. This doesn't mean we can't challenge stuff. It simply means we must ask ourselves if will we promote relational connection and make every effort to maintain the spirit of unity.
6. Don't Hang on to Grievance for the Sake of Convenience
More often than not I hear about stories of families that used to be close and now don't talk to each other. I've heard about churches that don't minister together anymore because of their histories. When I ask them what started it, they don't remember.
In short, I've listened to accounts of many who are clinging to grievances for the sake of their convenience, rather than pressing into the fullness of freedom, forgiveness, and unity in Christ Jesus. Our call has never been to hold on to unforgiveness or grudges. In fact, this is sin. This is something that we see all throughout Scripture. We have been commanded to love our neighbor by not holding on to grudges or by seeking revenge (Lev. 19:18). We're challenged to bear with one another and forgive any grievance (Col. 3:13). We're called to overcome evil with good and choose sincere love (Rom. 12:9-21).
I'm not saying things haven't happened and I'm telling you when you have to forgive. I'm simply relaying the message that our call to unity and our authority to forgive is a powerful gift in this season that is being under-utilized. Press into the Lord's forgiveness and extend it beyond emotion and convenience.
7. Seek First the King and His Kingdom
I'll keep this as simple as possible. We are seeing division and missing the mark on unity because we are not seeking the first the Kingdom. We are waking up to first pursue our phones, televisions, news' channels, social media outlets, sports updates, stock markets, and many other idols that we have allowed to become our first loves.
We must return to our true first love and keep the first things first. We must throw off the sin that so easily entangles and fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith (Heb. 12:1-2). We must make every effort to pursue the only hope of eternal unity and partner with His presence to see that unity become our reality.
How can we stay united in divided times? Jesus. Radically, undeniably, obsessively Jesus. We must make every effort to re-prioritize our preferences and to pursue the spirit of unity in this season. Our world needs it, our churches need it, and we need it.
Henri Nouwen wrote, "One of the main tasks of theology is to find words that do not divide but unite, that do not create conflict but unity, that do not hurt but heal." May we pray, act, think, and speak to see this unity today. May we make every effort to keep the spirit of unity as the Lord gives us undivided hearts and pours out restoration and redemption.
If we stick together, we can accomplish anything. The good news is that the victory has already been won. It is finished. We simply get to invite and unite under the banner of our Champion and King, Jesus. Amen.
