Collective Gaze
I was two hours early for my flight but I still felt the weight of anxiety pushing all around me. Cars were speeding past, passengers running all around. A bus had literally just crashed into a parked car in front of the Dallas airport and I thought to myself, “What is going on?”
I went through the security check-in, found my gate and had plenty of time to find the airport Chik Fil-a before my flight. Except it was Sunday. Plan B: 7-Eleven…
I sit down at my gate to grub on some light food before my flight when I realize that we’re getting close to boarding time. I look up and realize the plane has not arrived. I think to myself, “Well, I’ll fill the time with a podcast.”
I get up to stretch my legs and start listening to people talk about church leadership when 20 minutes later the plane arrives. Normally this isn’t an issue, but my connecting flight in Seattle is in such a tight window that if I miss the flight to Wenatchee (my hometown), I’m going to have to either drive through the night or stay the night in Seattle and make the 3-hour drive in the morning. Either way, extra money, time, and stress.
We start boarding the plane almost 1 hour later than expected and I feel myself fidgeting and look around to see if anybody else feels what I’m feeling. I see some people getting visibly angry and impatient, and I think to myself, “Just keep listening to the podcast, you’ll be fine.”
I find my seat and look out the window to see a massive thunderstorm not just in one place in the sky, but filling the horizon with clouds, lightning, and the gloomy reality that I’d miss my flight. With each lightning strike and each person boarding the plane as slowly as possible, I feel myself slipping into the “what-if’s”. Just then, the pilot announces that we’d be leaving 10 minutes later than expected and we’d be landing later than expected. My neighbor asked me, “What did he say?” As I was responding, the pilot came back on to say we’d be leaving 1 hour later and arriving way later than expected...
At this point, I’m not even listening to my podcast, but I keep it playing as white noise. I start texting my wife, my co-workers, and working on emails to send to students in our school of ministry. I’m reaching out asking people to pray for the flight, asking for help in booking a rental car for the morning, and a hotel for the night.
I kept looking to my phone for answers, for responses, for help, and with each buzz on my cell was an alert in my worried mind. Anxious, nervous, overwhelmed.
Then I started looking around at others after another announcement about getting everybody seated and leaving ASAP. The flight attendants looked like how I felt. The guy next to me was texting so frantically the person on the other side of the phone probably felt it. The people around me were chattering about their next flights, tablets and laptops were out, and many were doing their due diligence for what would be when we landed. Our collective gaze was fixed upon what we thought would help us.
Same as me, with each person, I didn’t see resolve, but tension. We left Dallas very late, and I felt this tension all flight because there was still a small chance that I could make my next flight. To not bore you, we left long after our estimated departure time, had to navigate around a thunderstorm by flying miles out of the way, and we arrived well past the time my connecting flight had departed.
In Seattle, I went to the airline’s customer service desk to get help and found a line of 30 others looking for answers and support as well. People were yelling at each other, at customer support agents, at passersby. It was ugly.
If you can see where this story has been you’ll see where I’m going. No help was offered, just a long wait to tell me thunderstorms are outside of the airline’s control. At this point I started creating a conspiracy theory in my head, “But are they? I bet you made this thunderstorm just to slow me down.”
Long story short, I found a hotel, got in a car the next morning on very little sleep, and arrived back home for a full week of work, ministry, and life.
The day after I got home, I finally had some clear head space and felt the Lord speak to me about this all. Maybe you’ve felt it as you’ve been reading, but this isn’t too different from how the last 18 months have been.
There was a plan. Things happened, Chik Fil-a was closed, Plan B, C, all the way to Z, and many other alphabets didn’t work, and people (that means all of us) looked for answers, support, and help. Our collective gaze was on the news and media sources. Masks this. Vaccines that. Elections there. Racial tensions here. Think this way. Feel this emotion. Fear this. Don’t touch that. Don’t eat this. Etc. Etc.
Our neighbors started freaking out. We then yelled at anybody and everybody. We asked, “What did they say?” “What’s the update?” “What are we going to do?” Again, our collective gaze goes to our phones looking for answers, help, support, and updates. Conspiracy theories were put forth, myths were spread, and divisive statements were made.
Anxiety. Fear. Worry. Doubt. Division. Pain. And no matter what we did, it felt like there was always more of it whenever we made a step “forward”. We showed how absorbed we are with our own survival and our own autonomy rather than the collective good. Just think back to last year when there was NO TOILET PAPER in your local stores…
I don’t know about you but my recent flight experience reminded me of these past 18 months and how we have been looking to the wrong source, plugging into the wrong connection, and reacting from fear rather than responding and living in peace.
As I reflected on this ridiculous occurrence, I felt the Lord ask me, “Cam, do you know that I’m your Shepherd and you lack nothing?” I responded with the childish, “Duh, Jesus.” Then I felt the weight of conviction in my Lord’s voice, “Then why did you look for My peace in other things when it was in you all along?”
Ouch. But it hurt so good. Grace is free and it’s painful. Liberation is when truth steps into our flesh and redefines us into newness. This isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. I was reminded ever so beautifully, gently, and firmly by my King that the peace I was looking for in my phone, neighbors, and other sources was already residing in me, and it was Him.
Now this might not make sense, and that’s okay. We’re told in Philippians 4 that when we bring our prayers and petitions before the Lord that our hearts and minds will be guarded by a peace that surpasses our understanding. If you understand fully, it might not be this peace I’m talking about. It’s this Peace that Jesus is (Eph. 2:14) and it’s this Peace that welcomes us to find rest with and in Him in the midst of our storms (Mk. 4:35-41). It’s this Peace that reminds us that God is our Shepherd and we truly lack nothing in our connection with Him (Ps. 23). It’s this Peace that our collective gaze should be set upon, because when we fix our eyes on Jesus, we recognize who He is, what He is doing, and how Truth is setting us free and calling us to live.
This doesn’t mean that we aren’t called to look at the things around us. It doesn’t mean that we aren’t supposed to make plans when our original plans fail. It doesn’t mean I should have just hung out and done nothing on my Dallas flight. It simply means that I could have stayed in Peace and Connection the entire time, rather than allowing fear, anxiety, and doubt dictate my actions.
This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t look at the news, issues in our communities, or research the various things happening in our world. It means that we should stay rooted and anchored in our Lord, and look at those things through the lens of Jesus, His Word, and His Spirit.
The reality is that the Lord did not give us a Spirit of timidity or fear, but of love, power, and sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7). This is our Truth and our Anchor in the midst of the many storms and changes. This is our Help and our Vision when everybody else is focused on the collective gaze of anxiety, fear, and division-provoking media. This is our Response when faced with many hot topics and big questions in our world.
Right now, the flights of our lives are being changed or cancelled. Chik Fil-a may still be closed. Decisions are ever before us. Our phones will buzz with updates. Our neighbors or families may still be angry. There will continue to be nonsense and disconnection spouted from many platforms and sources.
And right now, we have a choice. Will we join the collective gaze of eyes set upon the sources of fear, division, and pain, or will we throw off everything that so easily entangles us and fix our eyes upon Jesus (Heb. 12:1-2)? Will we be a people who react without vision or will we respond from the vision, Word, and Presence of the Lord? Will we find our hope and anchor in our constant clicking, typing, and searching or will we be still and know God is God? Will we actively rest and wait in His Presence and live from the Peace He is and calls us to? Will we look at things through our many dirty, divisive, and destroyed lenses, or look through His lens?
I’ll tell you what, I’m exhausted from allowing circumstances, fear, and pain to dictate my action steps. I’m tired of missing out on the opportunities before me to live in connection with Christ, to abide in His Peaceful Presence, and to be an encounter of the Resurrection with those around me. I bet you are too, and I bet that if we set our collective gaze on the Lord, our responses, communities, churches, and world would look different. We’d speak, think, and act more deeply rooted in the Lord rather than our opinions, politics, or preferences.
This is our time, beloved. Whatever it is, (vaccines, the pandemic, schools, workplaces, mandates, politics, etc.) it is an opportunity for us to choose connection with Jesus, to love God, to love others, and to make disciples.
I’ll let you in on a secret. In this world we will have trouble, but Jesus has overcome the world (Jn. 16:33). When we live tethered to this truth, no matter that storm, circumstance, or decision, we can collectively look to our Lord and find life in His name. There are going to be more things changing, people dividing, and painful happenings in our time. The Good News is Peace is available and His name is Jesus. The Good News is there is Vision and we can find it everyday in God’s Word and Presence. The Good News is there is a Person for us to fix our collective gaze upon and He’s the Answer.
We can drop every other lens: survivalism, division, selfishness, power, etc. and we can look at the Lamb who is at the center of it all. We can recognize that our Source lives within us and we can respond from His Presence, Word, and Purpose. We can look at things happening and ask the Lord how this can be an opportunity to be loved by Him, love Him, love others, and make disciples.
I don’t know about you, but my eyes are fixed on Jesus and I believe when we look upon Him together there will be an awakening. We can live from that vision or not. Ultimately, you’re empowered to choose. Flights will be delayed. Stuff will happen. There will be many other voices, but there’s only One Source that redeems it all and brings good in the midst of our chaos. I’d say, let’s collectively gaze on the One who calls us to a better vision, a better answer, and a better way. It’s not easy, but He’s worth it.
Well, my flight just got changed again, and I have some decisions to make, but Peace is in me and I know exactly where to look, or rather Who to look at. What about you?
Reflection Questions:
What lens(es) am I looking through?
Are my responses based on political, national, or self-preserving motives or the Word of God and His call for us to love Him, love others, and make disciples?
Am I reacting from fear, anxiety, and bias or am I choosing connection with Christ and responding from His vision?
What are steps each day I can take to become aware of God’s Peace in me?
How can I face each day and opportunity to be a demonstration of the Gospel to those around me?
