What Are You Holding Back?

View fullsize

Recently, I had the honor and privilege of attending a worship night hosted by United Pursuit Band in Southern California. We came to this smaller Church building and entered the sanctuary that was filled with people wall to wall, and it was also filled with that smell. You know what smell I'm talking about: the one that makes you think of high school P.E. class. We walked in, found some spots near a wall and chatted with those around us until the worship night started. I was observing the room and thinking about each person there. Not only was there the smell present in the room, but there was an aroma in the room. You know what aroma I'm talking about: the one that makes you think of life, liberty, joy, hope, peace, and passionate embrace in the Lord. Yes, there were multiple fragrances arising that evening, and we hadn't even started to sing. 

As the songs began, I was immediately blessed not only by the vulnerability of the worship community, but by each person who was attending. People immediately--not waiting for any cues from anybody else--took postures in their worship. Hands raised, hands open, knees bowed, prostrate, journaling, eyes open, eyes closed, shouts of praise, silent reverence, etc. The room was filled with that aroma, and the more and more we worshipped I realized that the smell I mentioned earlier was not as noticeable as when we first walked in. 

We came to a point in the night in which the band began singing, "We lay it all down, lay it all down, lay it all down, at the feet of Jesus." It was a prophetic and spontaneous moment, directed by the Holy Spirit as the room joined in unison with the band to bring this vibrant harmony to the Lord. As with the room, as with the aroma, as with the songs, they started quiet and became more boisterous as we progressed.

And the most beautiful moment, at least for me, was when the Lord gave me a vision of all these people before the throne of God. It was as if our room had been transported into the throne room and we were in our postures of worship before the Enthroned King. The beauty of this moment was found in what followed next. I saw a large pile of eclectic items before Jesus. There were treasures such as jewels, rings, crowns, and very valuable possessions that people had laid down in worship. There were also items that you might not expect to be present before the throne such as backpacks, luggage containers, chains, bricks, and trash. 

Here's the interesting thing: they were all blended together. The crowns were sticking out from garbage piles, while the backpacks were crushing precious diadems. As our room continued to lift up our voices in praise, surrender, and worship, I saw an incredible transformation. In one instant, the entire pile was transformed into golden crowns before the feet of Jesus. It was simultaneously majestic, mysterious, and mesmerizing. I was caught up in this moment more so when I heard the voice of our Father speak, "What are you holding back? Do you not know that at my feet, even your worst is made into royalty?" 

I was awestruck. I cannot count the amount of times I have not been engaged in worship, whether it is songs, relationships, life, work, etc., all because of my holding back what I thought was worthless to the Lord. I let my emotions hinder my response to Christ Jesus. I allowed my situations to dictate my praise. I had opened myself to receive more from the creation than the Creator, and all the while I had not brought myself before Him completely. 

This, although convicting for me, was encouraging. I was filled with courage to know and to speak that no matter where I was at, no what I had to give, that before the Lord it turns into crowns. Whether I have songs of sadness or songs of joy, they are crowns before the Lord. Whether I have a posture of dance or whether I have a posture of stillness, it is a posture of royalty in the Lord. 

The night concluded after a great time in unity and praise, and we exited the Church building. There must have been a few hundred people in the room who had just moved and praised for the last 90 minutes. The catch: I didn't smell anything but the incense of the saints and the transformational aroma of passionate, fiery lovers of our Savior. 

I don't know where you are, I don't know what may be happening in your life, I don't know if you are holding back or laying it all down, but be encouraged, our Humble King is the God of transformation. He is the best at bringing dead things to life and of breathing into nothing and making something of it. Let's lay it all down, regardless of what it is, and see what the Lord will do with it. Maybe, just maybe, we might see and experience the way God has created us to. Here's to living in that smell and aroma: the fragrance of sweet surrender and majestic transformation, only at the throne of God. Amen.