[IN] Security

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At some point in life we all stumble upon painful distractions and feelings rooted in insecurity. To feel insecure is to feel invalid, inferior, unknown, unprotected, uncertain, and lacking in confidence. This can stem from moments from childhood to adolescent memories to current interactions and encounters. It is the ultimate second guessing, a unique way of revealing distrust, and an agonizing reality check when something or somebody triggers these feelings. 

The lies try to sneak in whispering, “You’re not good enough” or “She’s prettier than you” or “You’ll never be that important. Famous. Rich. Helpful.” Lie after lie and we seek security in places that may bring an illusion of serenity, yet we truly are just one moment away from stepping back into that insecure paradigm. 

Recently, I have been recognizing the places in my life in which I am seeking false security. It’s so much easier to bury my eyes in social media than to engage with the Lord when I am feeling discouraged. It is so much easier to sit in my pain, complaining and crafting excuses to avoid reconciliation. It truly is more convenient to do the things that I have been doing to react to situations for the past 15 years, yet our God is not a God of convenience and this is certainly not a part of the repentance He has called us to in aligning with His heart and Kingdom. 

The story of Jesus walking on the waves in Matthew 14:22-33 is a perfect example of the battle between security and insecurity. We have a picture of the Savior spending time in prayer after being with so many and pouring out so much. For many this is absolutely a place of false security: it is the illusion that we are doing so much and because of what we are doing, and the people’s praises, we are secure. However, even the God-man shows us that His security was found not in the crowds, but in the secret place with His Father. 

As He is in prayer, He sends His disciples across the sea and tells them He will meet them on the other side. As the disciples are navigating the waters, they see a figure walking the waves. In false security they react in fear. They call the Messiah, the One whom they have followed, listened to, eaten with, and imitated, a ghost. This word is not just an acknowledgement of how we think of ghosts, but more so they are calling the Savior of the world a demon in human form. Why? Maybe it is more comfortable to call the things of God we do not understand demonic structures, rather than open ourselves to be challenged and continuously grown in the limitless movements of our King. 

We all know how the story continues. Peter asks if it is Christ Jesus and beckons His Messiah to call him to join in His walking on the waves. The Savior calls Peter forward and Peter exits the boat. Peter gets out of the boat, walks on the water, and then starts to sink when he notices the winds and reacts from fear. Too many are quick to point out Peter’s fault here, but forget to call attention to the eleven other disciples who stayed in their false security in the form of a boat. They chose convenience and they chose insecurity rather than accepting the invitation of their King. 

Don’t get me wrong, Peter does react from fear and sinks out of lack of trust and faith, both of which are attributes of insecurity. And this is interesting because Peter was fisherman. He knew the waters well, he more than likely knew how to swim, and was certainly capable of doing so as we read about in John’s account of the Gospel as he swims with his cloak on. However, the reality in this story is that once Peter takes his eyes and attention of our the Lord, he forgets what he is capable of doing and who he is capable of being. 

The good news is that our Savior is one who reaches out before, during, and after our cries of asking for help. Peter cries, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately reaches out and brings Peter to the boat. Upon entering the boat, the wind dies down and the disciples state, “Truly this is the Son of God.” Where was this statement with their actions? At least Peter said this with his actions, even if he sank while doing so. 

Here’s what I am getting at: I would much rather be a disciple of Christ Jesus who risks walking on the waves when things seem windy and dangerous with the possibility of sinking than one who sits in my boat of false security. Either way Christ Jesus saves and is with those disciples, but I think we are called to a lifestyle that is more bold, more risky, and more trusting in the security of our King. We are not called to a lifestyle in which we seek insecurity in convenience or comfortability, but rather one in which we step forward in faith, even if it means we might failure. Why? Because the reality is that even though Peter sinks, he partners with the miraculous God before falling.

We may fall, we may slip, we may not see the response we are expecting, we may not see every person healed, and we certainly may not always remember who we are capable of being or what we are capable of doing. However, we are not identified by those “failures” but rather by the identifying works and salvation that comes only in the security of our Savior’s hands. Maybe we will find that our “failures” are actually opportunities to reveal the saving grace of our King even more. 

If the story of Jesus walking on the waves in Matthew 14:22-33 tells us anything about security it is this: the boat is a place of false security. The disciples on the boat call the Messiah, whom they know, a demon in human form. We are not called to sit in our boats of false security. We are not called to call the things of God, things of demons. And certainly, we are not called to be in such convenience that we mistake our false security for a life raft when the only salvation in this story is in Jesus' hands. Maybe we ought to get out of our boats and start walking in the places we were born to walk in: wherever Jesus is. Let's be those people who trust and find our anchoring in the security of the Savior's call and hand, rather than our places, words, and positions of false security. Amen.